I Got Married. Part I.

This was not our first date. Or our second. Or third. Or fourth...
but it's the first pic we have together, so it'll suffice.

It's actually kind of impossible to know where to start... so let's go with December 2017. I had spent the 18 months prior living with my grandparents in Salt Lake City, having the time of my life eating french toast with my grandpa for breakfast and hearing my grandma's life story in bits and pieces each night.  I was 25 and a half years old and ready for a little change. So I moved myself on down to American Fork!

It took me until January to start going to church down there. The first activity I attended was a game night.  I got there late and joined a table that was playing Phase 10. I remember one guy went around the table telling me everyone's names. I made a sincere effort to remember them all, but one was extra hard for me. Bender. I could not remember that for the life of me. Plus, I was sure that couldn't be his actual name.

Fast forward a year to January 2019. I was feeling depressed about life. Winter was pulling out all the stops, my brother/bff got pseudo engaged and was thus abandoning me for another girl, and life was not going my way. Which is not normal for me. Life goes my way. I am happy.

So, of course, I opened up my weather app to find the closest, warmest location that weekend, and then I pulled up my AirBnb app to find the cheapest, nicest place to stay, and then I opened up my messaging app to text my trusted-always-there-for-me single friend to see if she would escape with me to Las Vegas for the weekend. Of course she said of course.

That Friday, we drove down and went straight to a park, pulled out our picnic blankets and journals and books, and just sat there enjoying our beloved sun and 60 degree weather. For two days. It was beautiful. I spent some time in deep reflection, pondering and praying and sorting out my life and letting things go. It was a very intentional process that resulted in very true and needed healing. Perhaps I'll share those details another time.

On Saturday afternoon we headed back home, and I was a changed woman.

Sunday morning I sat in an empty classroom at the church building with Jordan Bender. The two of us had been hosting a "New Member Meeting" each week since the previous August, but on that particular Sunday (and for the first time ever), no one showed up! So we just chatted about life and he asked me, "Have you had any more dreams about the zamboni?"

Rewind to a week-ish before this: All the young single adults in our area were invited to go to a Utah Grizzlies hockey game. It was the first hockey game I had ever been to and it just so happened that I was sitting next to Jordan. When the zambonis came out to clean the ice, there were people sitting on them just for fun while the actual worker did all the work! Of course, I immediately added "Ride a zamboni" to my bucket list. Jordan told me that Brother Smith, the church leader assigned to help our ward, was the one who had connections with the hockey team and got us all tickets. He suggested I talk to him about getting a ride on the zamboni.

After the game, I saw Brother Smith sitting at the bottom of the stadium doing absolutely nothing. Prime position for me to approach. Every excuse I could possibly come up with for not talking to him went through my head. I felt awkward! I hate feeling like I'm using people for their connections. I didn't want to be an inconvenience. It was weird. Plus I'm old and it looked like mostly kids riding on the zamboni. Plus, what if he said no? What if it was actually a dumb question?

Long story short: I did go down there and I did ask, and you know what? He got right up, walked me back to the offices where all the official team managers and such work, introduced me to a guy, and they put me on the schedule to ride the zamboni three weeks later. I. Was. So. Excited.

Then I had a dream about how awesome it was, and that is what Jordan was referring to in his question.

So fast forward to my answer: "No, but guess what! I went to Las Vegas this weekend with my friend..."

And I proceeded to tell him about this experience I had in the Las Vegas LDS Temple. We went there on Saturday morning before heading to the park for another day on picnic blankets. While walking through, we noticed a beautiful atrium filled with trees and flowers and water and sunshine. Before we left, my friend said, "We should ask if we can go in there." Now, if I had been by myself, I definitely would not have asked. Because I felt awkward! I didn't want to be an inconvenience. It was weird. Plus, what if they said no? What if it was actually a dumb question? (Do you see a pattern here? More false beliefs I walk around with and obviously need to let go of).

But I didn't want to be lame and say all those lame excuses to my friend. So I said, "Okay." And then we asked. And you know what? They said, "Oh of course, the door is right over there." So we went through that door and we sat on a bench in the sunlight surrounded by trees and flowers and water and chatted about the meaningful things in life for over an hour. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of the whole weekend.

So I told him this and then I said, "So you know what I've decided? Why not just ask! What if I hadn't asked Brother Smith about the zamboni?? I would not be on that schedule and would not be about to ride on it next week! And what if I had been lame and we didn't ask about the atrium? I would have missed out on that entire experience! When all it took was to ask. And if they had said no, I would have been no worse off. But they said yes! So I got it! And I am happy! So just ask!!"

"Well good," he replied. "Because I've been meaning to ask if you would like to go on a date."

P.S. Video proof that asking gets you places. (THANK YOU, Brother Smith)