A Sister is a Golden Thread to the Meaning of Life

Sisters who travel the world together stay together
#UK2018

October 19, 2007

"Oh my gosh! You are not going to believe this incredibly good news I have. I'm so excited! I know I've probably started a journal with an entry like this but whatever was my "good news" on my other pages is so not as good as this news! This is like the best beautiful news of my LIFE! Do you want to hear it? Okay..."

My mom was pregnant. Obviously I was beside myself with pure joy. I was 15 years old and obsessed with babies, and my youngest sibling was 9 years old at the time. As you can imagine, we/I spent the next several months counting down the very hours until said baby would finally be born. I made a countdown sticker chart that seriously had 165 days on it. (It was probably the day we found out the gender, so I knew what color to make the chart. You know, because gender stereotyping and stuff...)(Also, little did I know, that chart was 16 spaces too short. It really was an eternity waiting for that child).

September 27, 2012

"Lily is the girly-girl of the fam. She is 4 years old. She loves pink and purple and princesses and hearts and flowers and butterflies and tutus and dancing and looking cute. She is seriously the girliest girl I have ever seen. She loves to play house. She is a picky eater and pretty much eats nothing, but it's fine... Anyway, Lily is so fun and hilarious and she loves to hang out with her brothers and sisters even though we are all like 20 years older than her. She makes me laugh a whole lot and I always look forward to seeing her when I come home." 

Sometimes I do little snapshots of the fam in my journal. I write a paragraph about each person so I can remember that phase of life later. I love this one of Lily. She was so cute. I remember being soooooo sick of playing house because that is all she ever wanted to do. Also, she had trouble saying the "R" sound, and that was adorable.

June 29, 2016

"Here's a little glimpse at a conversation I had with my baby sister today on her last day as a 7 year old...
Me: My friend got engaged.
Lily: YOU need to get engaged!!
Me: Why?
Lily: Well, actually I like you this way."

For real, Lily is among the funniest of people in my current life. Not only is she hilarious, she is also so creative. She makes the coolest forts I have ever seen. She loves scavenger hunts and escape rooms, and we make those for each other regularly. If you give her a cardboard box or two, she will turn them into something magical. She is tender-hearted and loves people and animals and goodness. AND if you feel like you might want to doubt God, just talk to Lily. That girl has faith.

Even though I love the crap out of her, I also have my mortal failings as an older sister. I can be bossy. I can think I need to take responsibility for her life choices. This can lead to arguments and frustration. When this happens, I feel really bad! She does not need another mom or another critic or another judge out of me. She needs a sister and a friend.

I took November as an opportunity to be best friends with Lily. Honestly, I believe this month's goal was inspired -- an answer to my recent prayers about how to be a better sister to her. The rules were simple: Treat her how I would treat my best friend. This includes obvious things like listening to what she has to say, spending time with her, and asking her opinion on things. If she did or said something that upset me, I made a way bigger effort to see past that, like I would for a friend. I also made it a point to only go to my parents' house if I had enough time to actually spend some on Lily (rather than just grabbing food and leaving).

Here's how it turned out:

1. We made her her very own playlist on my phone with allllllll her favorite songs and none of my opinions. Whenever we were together in my car, we would listen to it.

2. We went laser-tagging, only her favorite activity of all time (even though she lost and cried at the end...it's fine).

3. We played games. She beats me at Connect Four and Qwixx and Sorry, and I beat her at Concentration and Rummikub.

4. We watched a movie.

5. We went to a play.

6. I bought her a cup of pretzel bites at Annie's and then dragged her around H&M and made her give me all her opinions on all the clothes, only to buy nothing as usual.

7. We had a sleepover in her fort (except I didn't actually do my sleeping in the fort, but she doesn't know that, soooo it counts).

8. I took her ministering with me once. That was fun.

9. Last night, we exercised together. That's turning into our new favorite thing. She can do 50 sit ups in like zero time flat, and I sit out during back walkover time. Also, she judges me on my bridge form (and my splits), but I would probably judge myself, so I'm not worried about it. When I was leaving the house after that, she gave me a hug and I said, "You're so warm and cozy!" And she said, "You're so...willing to hug!" Accurate on both accounts.



Okay. This is turning long. Let me end.

I've always felt sad for girls who don't have sisters (and for girls who don't have brothers, but that's for another time). I would never have survived childhood or teenagehood or young adulthood without my sister, Meckenzie. I want to be there for Lily like Meckenzie is there for me. I'm not saying I was the worst sister ever prior to November because please. Of course I have always been there for Lily. She probably didn't even notice a difference this month. But I noticed! I was there for her a little more consciously with my brain and my heart, and it was just nice, you know? It felt good. It felt good on the inside. I needed the renewed perspective.

So. That's it. Sisters are worth it.

(My cousin, Laurie, took these pics, btw)

P. S. Can you even imagine how fun it will be when I'm 39 and Lily is 23 and we get to be adult friendsisters? I'm excited, but I can wait. I like her kid self a lot.


(Title of post from Isadora James)