Several months ago I visited the home of Camille, a friend of my mother's whose calling in life is to journal. At the age of 16 she read the journal of one of her great grandmothers and it deeply impacted her. She began her own, and over the course of her life was inspired and guided on all things journal. You should have seen it. Now in her 70s, she has decades of her life recorded and neatly organized in books, complete with cross references, footnotes, and topics. She has a place for spiritual events, temple experiences, regular life, etc. At the end of each year she creates a table of contents so she can easily come back and relearn from the experiences of that year. Every entry has a heading. Every page a number.
Her work is so thorough, organized, and meaningful that she has coordinated with the church to have it stored in the vaults where it can be used later as a resource and reference to bless the lives of future us. She told us she doesn't think everyone needs to be as thorough and organized as she is, but she thinks everyone should at least do something.
As Camille shared her testimony, verses from the scriptures, and experiences on the importance of record keeping, I was touched. I wanted to do better. One thing that stood out to me was the fact that, in addition to the scriptures and words of the prophets, she reads a little bit of her journal each day. "My journal is like personal scripture to me," she said. I wondered how that could be.
Later that week I pulled out my box of journals and found I had completely filled 10 books of various sizes. I started my first in December 2002, at 10 years old. I wrote about Christmas. The next couple years have entries here and there, but nothing consistent. At the beginning of high school I got more into it, and by the time college came I was all about the journal life. I wrote quite a bit on my mission as well, and a fair amount just after. The last couple years have been pretty spotty.
I decided to follow Camille's advice and began reading from my own journals. At random, I chose to first read a journal I kept my sophomore year of college -- Fall 2011. That was a good choice. I read about my time living at Old Farm in Logan, working at Jamba Juice and Morningside Preschool, staying up late doing homework, and making peanut butter shakes with my roommates. That was the year I learned I love to exercise. I also read about answered prayers and spiritual promptings. I read about my relationship with God, about my scripture studies, my plans for the future, and my fears and my hopes. I was surprised to see how much I had forgotten about that time in my life. I was also surprised to see how much I have changed and grown since then. A lot of those experiences influenced choices I made later, and had an impact on me that I could not have foreseen at the time.
Eventually I made it to the journal I kept as a sophomore in high school -- Fall 2007. I read about learning to drive, joining the golf team, and taking a hard spanish class. I read about the day we learned my mom was going to have another baby -- the entire family was elated. That list they have you write in young women about what you should look for in a husband was in there (eye roll but also grin that I have such insight into 15 year old me). I got my patriarchal blessing that year, and wrote about many other spiritual experiences and answered prayers.
One such answered prayer came in the form of a girl named Jenna. To make a very long story very short: I went into high school with no friends and I was sad about that. I prayed for months about it and wrote many entries in my journal on the topic. Fortunately, I have a happy disposition and a stellar family, and by some miracle I didn't go completely down a dark and dreary hole of no return. But it was an honest struggle. Tears. Frowns. Etc.
Amidst the struggle, I decided I wanted to go to EFY the next summer and it was coming time to register. I wasn't thrilled with the idea of going by myself, and ended up asking Jenna if she wanted to go with me. She was a friend from school at the time. I didn't know her super well, but we'd been acquaintances for quite a while, and we had several mutual friends. She said yes! As the summer approached, we spent more and more time together, and by the end of EFY week, she was my best friend.
Fast forward 10+ years and look. Alllllll the heart eyes:
I have thanked God from the very bottom of my heart so many times over the years for Jenna. But here's what's crazy: Some time between then and now, I forgot about the struggle! I mean, I was aware of the general experience I had that year, but not the meaning of it. Reading those journal entries, I was reminded just how hard that time was for me. I was reminded just how much I prayed. I was shown the embodiment of God's hand in my life.
I think that might be what Camille meant about her journals being personal scripture. Each entry that I've read over the last few months has been a reminder to me of the things I've learned; a snapshot of a lesson God has taught me; a tick in the timeline of the person He is creating out of me.
In August, my goal was to journal. It didn't really do much for me in the moment, honestly. But I know that future me will be happy to look back and remember what it was to be me.
(Title of the post is a quote from Joan Didion. According to Google. So you never know.)
Her work is so thorough, organized, and meaningful that she has coordinated with the church to have it stored in the vaults where it can be used later as a resource and reference to bless the lives of future us. She told us she doesn't think everyone needs to be as thorough and organized as she is, but she thinks everyone should at least do something.
As Camille shared her testimony, verses from the scriptures, and experiences on the importance of record keeping, I was touched. I wanted to do better. One thing that stood out to me was the fact that, in addition to the scriptures and words of the prophets, she reads a little bit of her journal each day. "My journal is like personal scripture to me," she said. I wondered how that could be.
Later that week I pulled out my box of journals and found I had completely filled 10 books of various sizes. I started my first in December 2002, at 10 years old. I wrote about Christmas. The next couple years have entries here and there, but nothing consistent. At the beginning of high school I got more into it, and by the time college came I was all about the journal life. I wrote quite a bit on my mission as well, and a fair amount just after. The last couple years have been pretty spotty.
I decided to follow Camille's advice and began reading from my own journals. At random, I chose to first read a journal I kept my sophomore year of college -- Fall 2011. That was a good choice. I read about my time living at Old Farm in Logan, working at Jamba Juice and Morningside Preschool, staying up late doing homework, and making peanut butter shakes with my roommates. That was the year I learned I love to exercise. I also read about answered prayers and spiritual promptings. I read about my relationship with God, about my scripture studies, my plans for the future, and my fears and my hopes. I was surprised to see how much I had forgotten about that time in my life. I was also surprised to see how much I have changed and grown since then. A lot of those experiences influenced choices I made later, and had an impact on me that I could not have foreseen at the time.
Eventually I made it to the journal I kept as a sophomore in high school -- Fall 2007. I read about learning to drive, joining the golf team, and taking a hard spanish class. I read about the day we learned my mom was going to have another baby -- the entire family was elated. That list they have you write in young women about what you should look for in a husband was in there (eye roll but also grin that I have such insight into 15 year old me). I got my patriarchal blessing that year, and wrote about many other spiritual experiences and answered prayers.
One such answered prayer came in the form of a girl named Jenna. To make a very long story very short: I went into high school with no friends and I was sad about that. I prayed for months about it and wrote many entries in my journal on the topic. Fortunately, I have a happy disposition and a stellar family, and by some miracle I didn't go completely down a dark and dreary hole of no return. But it was an honest struggle. Tears. Frowns. Etc.
Amidst the struggle, I decided I wanted to go to EFY the next summer and it was coming time to register. I wasn't thrilled with the idea of going by myself, and ended up asking Jenna if she wanted to go with me. She was a friend from school at the time. I didn't know her super well, but we'd been acquaintances for quite a while, and we had several mutual friends. She said yes! As the summer approached, we spent more and more time together, and by the end of EFY week, she was my best friend.
Fast forward 10+ years and look. Alllllll the heart eyes:
I have thanked God from the very bottom of my heart so many times over the years for Jenna. But here's what's crazy: Some time between then and now, I forgot about the struggle! I mean, I was aware of the general experience I had that year, but not the meaning of it. Reading those journal entries, I was reminded just how hard that time was for me. I was reminded just how much I prayed. I was shown the embodiment of God's hand in my life.
I think that might be what Camille meant about her journals being personal scripture. Each entry that I've read over the last few months has been a reminder to me of the things I've learned; a snapshot of a lesson God has taught me; a tick in the timeline of the person He is creating out of me.
In August, my goal was to journal. It didn't really do much for me in the moment, honestly. But I know that future me will be happy to look back and remember what it was to be me.
(Title of the post is a quote from Joan Didion. According to Google. So you never know.)
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