One month of my time here in Lubbock is gone. Forever. And I will never get it back.
Before the mission, I had these expectations of my missionary self that I was not aware I even had. I expected perfection.
And then I got to the MTC and I was like, "Whoa. This is hard. I don't know anything."
And then I got to Lubbock and I was like, "Yikes. I have zero faith. I don't know what I am doing here. What am I doing." I doubted. A lot.
And then I prayed.
And I repented.
And I repeated. repeated. repeated. repeated. every. single. day. over and over and over and over.
And I studied. And I worked.
I literally had to start from rock bottom.
But guess what. I can now tell you, for flippin sure, that I KNOW God knows and loves me personally and He has a plan fo rme and for every person on this earth. I know He has called a Prophet and established His church through the Priesthood on the earth today. I know the Book of Mormon is His word, and He has given it to us that we may learn of Him and His plan, and grow closer to Him as we discover and apply the power of the Atonement. I know that the Holy Ghost is real, and is a gift from God to give us strength, comfort, guidance, and protection. As I read from the Book of Mormon, pray, and listen to the promptings and impressions of the spirit, I receive direction and power to do God's will for me and to serve His children. God is real. This is His church. He loves us. And He has provided a way for each of us to return to Him and enjoy all the blessings He has. I know these things to be true.
I also know that I have been called by a Prophet of God to share what I know with the people of Lubbock. He has sent me here for a reason. I will do everything I can to be obedient, focused, and diligent in doing the Lord's work. I know that as I do, the Lord will work miracles. He is ready. He has just been waiting for ME to be ready. I will give my life to Him from now on. And He will give me so much more. He expects EVERYTHING. But, He will be there on my right and on my left, before me and behind me; He will give me strength, direction, and power, and He will use to as an instrument to bring forth His purposes.
So yes, my first month was not the most effective. And yes, I have been here A WHOLE MONTH and I am still not the best missionary on the planet, or even in College Park.
But it doesn't even matter. Because I have changed in that month. I have become more converted to the Lord than I have ever been in my life. He couldn't use me before, because I wouldn't let Him! So he (thankfully!) took me to rock bottom, and then He built me up again, in His way.
A month is gone. But I am ready.
He who loses his life for the Lord's sake shall find it. That's the truth.
Love, Sister Brittan E Plante